i met a good old friend of mine today, he’s an Indonesian, but he works in KL currently. He’s very excited of what KL can offer. we chatted and just shared our life stories together. i think it is very beautiful to love a person and be loved. He is so in love with his gf that he’s willing to part a huge amount of money for air asia and maxis, just to hold strong to the long distant relationship string. it sort of inspires me in a way.
my friend’s father was a poet, a great one i believed, because all his siblings and him have really beautifully crafted poetic names, sounds sooo romantic and unique. sadly, his dad died at the age of 50, all thanks to heart attack. i think it’s starting to becoming a trend, like so many ppl are dying, of modern illnesses, especially heart attack and stroke. just this few months, we have Michael Jackson and Yasmin Ahmad leaving to heaven for it. why is this happening? they looked perfectly healthy and energetic, i just can’t find any god damn reason.
life is getting better for me, emotionally, letting go is easier when there’s no hate or anger involved. love means much more than just couples in love. love is acceptance. true love means that i must learn to love ppl, life and just everything, because every hate or anger that i have toward others, is just reflection of my own self, inner ugliness. talking about life, i always have these Plato moments, u know, questioning stuff that i will never get an answer, just wisdom. I’m starting to question my own purpose in life, and why we are here, not in a hunter-gatherer-survival of the fittest kindna question, but more like why everything is supposed to be the way it is… why we must follow the exact circle of life like what our forefathers did, in a modern twist. why different skin colours exist, is it solely caused by climates and the environment or is it a test for us, to judge ppl and accept ppl as he/her is. i surely never believed in the evil word called ‘RACE’, it’s a divide and conquer method that was effective in controlling ppl’s mindset/ support and still is today. surprise, surprise, you are cursed the day you were born. do you think i wanted to be born and classified in watever race they wanted me to be. yes, i am of mixed parentage, but my skin colour seemed to be the ultimate factor why everyone wants me to be Malay and Sunni Muslim. well, fuck you. i never wanted to be anything than a proud Malaysian. i want ppl to appreciate my talent, what i can deliver to the table, my personality and of coz my inner self. who cares if I’m 25% Malay, 25% Eurasian (serani), 13% Siamese (songkla), 37% Chinese… the truth is, i don’t give a damn what RACE should i be categorized as, just because my ancestors were born from some foreign places. and the truth is, we all are kopi susu, teh tarik, sirap limau, or even coconut frappucino… we are NOT who we are based on where our ancestors came from, we are who we are based on how are we raised as a person, our value system, our experiences, wisdom, attitude in life, the ppl that we care and cherish… We are Malaysians because we believed in ourselves and the land that we are born and raised, the love that we had poured so much and the ppl that we felt so familiar and friendly, the food that is way better than any world’s cuisine (i can never resist a hot steamy nasi lemak kukus with bloody red sambal kerang, gosh, my mouth is watering)…
look deep inside in all ourselves, what is our purpose in life, is it to defend the damned 30% bumiputra quota, or to fight for more vernacular schools or to sebat a vulnerable lady for consuming alcohol…? there’s more important purpose in life that we must be able to see, the future and nyawa of our lovely Malaysia depends on us… or not we’ll end up like other failed states or corrupted states or dictator-ruled states.. then, Malaysia will be doomed and cursed, forever. pity.